What my life was like at that time.
We had just got back from a week in Maui!!!
Our kids were 8, 6, 5, and 2. We had moved to Utah for work and felt like it was time to add another kid to our family. A few months later I was pregnant.
How to tell my husband I was pregnant?
I decided to use our one-year-old Old English sheep dog Scout to help share the news. I went to the pet store and create a dog tag announcing my pregnancy, attached it to Scouts collar, then waited.
Such as fun surprise when he found the message! His mom and one of my dear friends happened to be visiting at the time too. We were all excited. But since I had previously had 2 miscarriages (at this point in my journey) I made sure to tell them I am only 5 weeks and who knows if I will miscarry or not?!?!? Its like I had to say it to prepare myself or try to avoid the hurt that comes with the loss.
At 8 weeks pregnant my dad asked me how I felt?
I told him I didn’t think I was sick enough, with only mild symptoms, but time would tell. Not many days after that I began to spot, I knew what was coming. (But still secretly hoping it was just implantation spotting and everything would be okay.)
How I dealt with the physical loss. (Natural)
Luckily we were heading into the weekend. My husband had just got home, and the kids were all in bed. Such a blessing! Then the cramping and heavy bleeding began.
I sent my husband for the supplies I needed. He came back with pads, panty liners, and my favorite chocolate bar in Giant size, he knew!
The rest of the night I rotated between trips to the bathroom and watching a chick flick, with lots of pausing.
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Due to my previous experience my doctor had taught me what to expect as far as pain, amount of blood loss, size of clots to pass, and brown blood vs red blood.
At some point that night the blood gushing slowed down enough for me to sleep, with heavy pads and a towel under me. The next two days were similar with longer amounts of time between bathroom visits.
- Day 1- Spotting
- Day 2 – Spotting. Mild Cramping
- Day 3 – Spotting a few times a day. Mild Cramping
- Day 4 – Spotting a few times during the day. Heavy flow started at night. Strong cramping. Frequent bathroom trips. Thick pads. Not a restful night. Painkillers helped.
- Day 5 – Heavy Flow continues. More frequent trips to the bathroom passing blood and clots. The cramps persisted it was a very uncomfortable day. Painkillers helped. I was moody.
- Day 6 – Spotting larger amounts and a few small clots. Mild cramps
- Day 7 – Spotting but in small amounts. Mild cramps. A little moody.
- Day 8 and On- Spotting here and there varying amounts. Blood color went from a red to a dark brown. Mild cramps
Not so funny, funny story, on day 7 I thought I was good for a quick trip to the Dollar Store with my stir-crazy kids. Well lets just says my body was not done and I was not properly prepared for the mess!
Luckily, I was wearing jeans and a jacket, which I took off and tied around my waist. From there I couldn’t get out of the Dollar Store fast enough. I let my kids buy whatever they wanted! Ha ha ha
Just part of the crazy journey.
It took my body about 1 ½ weeks to complete this process. I used painkillers as needed, hot showers, and comfort food. I never visited the doctor but spoke over the phone so they had a history. The physical pain was manageable at home but took time to work itself out.
How I dealt with the emotional loss.
Once the physical pain had passed it was time to work on the emotional pain. The pain that no one can see but you carry with you.
My family had a hunting trip that weekend, so around Day 8 of recovery I packed up the kids and made the 12 hour trek to go. I flew my mother-in-law up to be my driving buddy because I still had to make extra bathroom stops to stay clean and dry.
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During this trip I kept it to myself and only told my parents. It still hurt too much to talk about. Later that trip when I was ready I shared with my siblings and other relatives. Their support was appreciated. I have often wondered if I should have told them earlier? I decided that when you feel ready to share is usually the best time.
My time with family and friends was just the emotional healing I needed for this miscarriage. Then to move on…
One.Day.At.A.Time.
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Hello Friend! I’m Chantell…
Wife, Mother of 5 earthly & 6 heavenly babies, and love God. I blog about Motherhood. Read More